Language is never just words

It’s a mirror of how we see one another, how we see ourselves, and how society decides whose voices matter. For neurodivergent people, language is deeply tied to identity, and often, to whether our experiences are respected or dismissed.

Why words matter

Sometimes, the labels attached to us can feel like they were written about us rather than with us. Terms like “disorder,” “deficit,” or “abnormal” are not neutral. They frame neurodivergence as something broken that needs fixing, rather than something valuable that needs understanding.

Research from the British Psychological Society highlights that deficit-based language reinforces stigma and can negatively affect self-esteem, while identity-affirming language (“autistic person” or “dyslexic thinker”) is linked to stronger self-advocacy and positive community identity.

Simply put: the words we use can either diminish someone’s identity or help them expand into it.

Pronouns and personal identity

Just as pronouns affirm gender identity, the words we use around neurodivergence affirms neuro-identity. Saying “person with autism” versus “autistic person” might seem like just semantics, but for lots of us, it cuts to the heart of whether neurodivergence is seen as an inseparable part of who we are, or an unwanted attachment.

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Some prefer identity-first language, others person-first. The key is to respect self-identification. The simplest act of inclusion is to ask: “What language feels right for you?”

Dialogue and communication differences

Neurodivergent communication styles are often pathologised rather than accepted. ADHD communication might be fast-paced or sometimes seem like we’re running on a tangent, autistic communication might be more direct or literal, and dyslexic expression might lean towards storytelling or visual thinking. When these differences are respected instead of judged, we create workplaces and communities that benefit from a diversity of voices. Harvard Business Review notes that teams with diverse communication styles are more innovative and resilient, but only if those differences are embraced rather than suppressed.

Intersectionality of identity

None of us exists in a vacuum. Neurodivergence intersects with gender, race, culture, class, and sexuality in ways that shape our lived experience.

For example:

• A dyslexic learner in a rigid school system may be unfairly labelled as “lazy.”
• A woman with ADHD may be dismissed as “emotional” or “disorganised,” while men with the same traits are seen as “driven” or “visionary.”

In South Africa, where October is also Mental Health Awareness Month, stigma surrounding both mental health and neurodivergence is layered with our unique historical inequities, making language even more critical.

These examples remind us: identity is never singular. Respecting neurodivergent identity means holding space for its intersections with all the other identities a person carries.

Moving from awareness to action

At INVISIBLE DIVERSITY, we believe identity isn’t something to fix – it’s something to honour. The challenge isn’t in neurodivergent people existing, it’s in systems that fail to embrace our differences.

So what does action look like?

• Choosing language that reflects dignity and respect.
• Asking individuals how they want to be described, rather than assuming.
• Valuing communication differences instead of labelling them as deficits.
• Listening to neurodivergent voices and centering their lived experience in conversations about inclusion.

As we celebrate ADHD Awareness Month, Dyslexia Awareness Month, and Mental Health Awareness Month this October, we invite you to reflect:

• How does the language you use – in workplaces, schools, communities, and even in the way you speak to yourself – shape the way neurodivergent people experience identity and belonging?

Because awareness without reflection changes nothing. But when we reflect on language, we open the door to inclusion.